Priorities: His and Hers

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If I were to start today’s post by saying, “Boy! Are men and women different!” you’d probably shake your head, say “What’s new?,” and quit reading. I wonder how many books and articles have been written on the subject of differences between the genders. More than I could afford, even if I had the desire to buy or read them.

Besides that, I–like you–already have a pretty adequate idea about gender differences. In fact, the only thing I’ve learned in recent years came from a book called Love and Respect, which points out that women are more desperately in need of love, whereas men feel a greater need for respect.

I say “the only thing,” but the past few months I’ve become aware of something else just from being married to my wonderful wife. Men and women are apt to have very different priorities. It’s no wonder so many couples fight about money.

Fortunately, Kathleen and I don’t. And a while back we decided to put an allowance for each of us in the family budget. We could spend it without feeling the need to justify our purchases. That’s been great.

Interestingly, though, both of us have ended up saving most of our allowance for larger purchases. Over time I was able to add several new components to our stereo system–something we both benefit from–and a few extra gadgets for my home recording studio.

More recently, I started saving for incidental expenses in “indy (independently) publishing” my soon-to-be-released novel, Rosa No-Name. Little things like a professional cover and proper editing. Since Kathleen loves Rosa No-Name more than my other three published novels or the eight unpublished ones, she benefits from this project, too.

A few weeks ago Kathleen told me how much she’d saved of her allowance over no telling how many months. And she announced she was saving for a new refrigerator. She had very specific criteria in mind: a pull  out freezer drawer at the bottom instead of a standard top door freezer, glass or plastic shelves rather than wire racks, see-through drawers, and a traditional door rather than the currently popular French door.

Ice maker and water dispenser weren’t necessities. Something slightly bigger than our old nineteen-square-foot fridge would be desirable, but of course it would still have to fit in the available space.

This was her project, so–even though I thought it was silly to want to replace the old fridge when I’d only had it fifteen years and it was still working well–I let her do the searching. I won’t bore you with details, but I finally got in on the hunt, and we found what looked perfect except there appeared to be no more than a quarter of an inch gap between the height of the one we wanted and the bottom of the cabinet over it. Should we take the chance?

As the one who’s sometimes more practical, Kathleen arranged to have a coworker who’s good with his hands come over and cut off the bottom-front piece of the cabinet. She called the store that had offered the lowest price–a local store, not a big chain store–and arranged delivery this past Thursday.

This was a purchase we are both benefiting from. Perhaps the difference in priorities between Kathleen and me works out to our advantage more often than we’d realized before.

What about you? Is there a member of the opposite gender in your life whose priorities differ from yours? Do your differences cause problems or have you learned to work around one another’s priorities and preferences? How about leaving a comment?


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Best regards,

More Pet Peeves

A few months ago I wrote about some of my pet peeves. I didn’t begin to exhaust the possibilities, however, so let me share a few more today.

  • Cats are not dogs. Rather obvious, I suppose, but when a guy and his wife have an adorable miniature dachshund puppy (mini dachshunds will always just be puppies, regardless of their age) who loves to demonstrate how much she loves us and also have a beautiful white cat who is–as is typical with cats–not nearly as affectionate, how could I not regret the dissimilarity?
  • Women don’t think like men. Okay, maybe some women do. But no one comes to mind at the moment. And one of woman’s pet peeves would undoubtedly be that we men don’t think like them.
  • Grass that grows fast enough to need mowing more than once a week. Not that it’s happened in this summer’s heat, though.
  • Political correctness in general. I’ve already done a blog post about that, so no need to elaborate here except to say that I do my best to speak respectfully to and about others. At least within their hearing.
  • People who interrupt someone who’s speaking to try to complete the other person’s sentence for him. Okay, I admit it. I tend to do that at times, too. But it’s far worse when the other person does it to me!
  • People talking on cell phones in public restrooms. More than once I’ve started to respond to someone who I then learned wasn’t talking to me at all. Talking on cell phones while checking out of a store is even more serious. It’s not just misleading at times, it’s rude!
  • Restaurants that quit serving the only food I really liked there. Hmm. Wonder if that’s why the one I’m thinking about closed…
  • Women’s t-shirts with something really cute on the front, but which a true gentleman will never get to finish reading without being accused of staring improperly.
  • And let’s not forget women who dress provocatively without regard for how it will affect the men (and women) who see too much of them
  • Drivers going through the neighborhood late at night with their stereos cranked up high enough to awaken the dead. On second thought, maybe those drivers are already so deaf they don’t realize how loud their so-called music is.
  • I couldn’t end this list without one more traffic-related pet peeve. Drivers who fail to use their turn signals. How many times have you been waiting to pull out when you could’ve done it safely if the person coming from your left had indicated he would be turning right?And how many times have you had to slam on the brakes because the driver in front of you suddenly slowed to make a turn without signalling first? I realize we are all guilty of making unexpected turns at times, but that seems to be habitual for some drivers.

That’s it for now. Do you have any pet peeves you’d like to add? Or any of mine you’d like to disagree with? Feel free to leave a comment.

NOTE: Various people have complained about not being able to find or leave comments. Go all the way to the bottom of this post, beneath my “Best regards, Roger.” On the very bottom line of that last section just above the previous post you’ll see “Leave a Comment” if yours will be the first or “X Comments,” where  X denotes the number of existing comments.


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I’ll be back again on Wednesday. If you’d like to receive my posts by email, go to “Follow Blog via Email” at the upper right.

Best regards,

An Extra Post: an Original Easter Song

NOTE: If you follow my other blog, As I Come Singing, you’ll receive this same post this Wednesday. But I  couldn’t resist sharing it with my On Aging Gracelessly readers today as something extra.

Then dawned Sunday, the first day of the week,
When into the garden silently came
Troubled women to anoint the body of their friend,
Who–Friday on a cross–had been slain.

These women had endured his trial; these women had watched him die.
They’d wept as they saw his body torn by pain.
But they never stopped to think–they never realized–
That what he had told them was true:
That they’d see him in the flesh, alive again.

The women approached the tomb in the stillness of the dawn,
When they saw that the rock was gone from the door.
“Fear not,” an angel said, “the one you seek is not dead,
But has risen and lives today, and his spirit will live with you evermore.”

Then dawned Sunday, the first day of the week,
When out from the garden joyously ran
Shouting women to proclaim that one who had been slain
Had lived, died, and arisen as God and man.

About this Song:
This is one of my oldest songs–thirty to forty years. I used rhymes a lot more back in the early days of my song writing. And this particular song falls  more distinctly into the folk sound I’ve never really outgrown than some of my more recent songs.

Honestly, there’s one thing about this song I don’t like, and I don’t know what to do about it. That’s the part about the angel saying Jesus’ “spirit will live with you evermore.” While Jesus promised that the Holy Spirit would come to believers following his ascension, I don’t believe any of the Gospel accounts of the women in the garden had the angel(s) say anything about that.

Poetic license is one thing, but purposely and knowingly misquoting an angel is something else.

Suggestions, anyone? How about leaving a comment?

I hope you have a blessed Easter and that your thoughts are more about the significance of Jesus’s coming back from the dead than about the Easter bunny and chocolate eggs. I can assure you the Easter bunny was NOT present at the empty tomb on that glorious Sunday morning.


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I’ll be back again next Wednesday.

Best regards,