True Confession

If you read my previous post, the one about “Christians & Alcohol,” you’ll appreciate this post more.

Suffice it to say that my first wife and I grew up in very conservative Christian homes that considered alcoholic beverages to be a no-no. Not surprisingly, we grew into equally conservative adults who never would have touched any kind of alcoholic beverage. (We would’ve avoided many types of alcohol simply because they smelled so bad, but that’s beside the point.)

We were in our mid-to-late twenties and had some wonderful friends at church. And even though I don’t recall them ever drinking in front of us, we’d seen the beer or whatever in their refrigerators. Needless to say, we were shocked at first. Christians don’t drink, do they?

Uh, apparently some of them do. And these friends were people we not only enjoyed being with, they were what we considered model  Christians. Were we dismissing alcohol unfairly? How could we say? We’d never even tasted any.

We decided to try some. But we couldn’t go to the local liquor store–we wouldn’t even go there to get boxes for moving–for fear that someone from church would see us and think badly of us.

So we drove thirty miles to a larger city where we were unlikely to be seen. That doesn’t mean we weren’t terrified of going inside, but we finally opened the door and walked in. My word! I had no idea there were so many kinds of alcohol and so many brands. Where were we to start?

I don’t recall why we decided on wine. Maybe because that sounded like a more biblical choice. But what kind and which brand? Impossible to say. We picked out one bottle that had a particularly attractive shape and color. We looked at one another. But what if it turned out simply to have been a bad selection?

Since we were probably buying the cheapest wine we saw, we decided to buy a second bottle, just in case. How one makes a random selection in a liquor store I’ll never know, but we walked out with a paper bag containing two bottles of cheap wine.

We were already feeling guilty. Especially when we got home and remembered that our conservative choir director and her even more conservative church deacon husband lived directly across the street from us. What if they saw us and asked what we had? Ugh! Tempting to leave the bag in the car. Forever. Untouched.

Obviously we couldn’t do that. But what if one of the bottles fell out and broke in the street? Oh, would our sin become obvious to everyone with a working nose.

Once safely inside, we looked at one another. Wasn’t wine supposed to be chilled? And for how long? We stuck both bottles in the fridge. An hour later we asked ourselves if we hadn’t waited long enough. We were going to chicken out if we didn’t taste that wine soon.

Uh, but corks? Did we have…? No, why would we have owned a corkscrew? I hopped in the car and drove somewhere to find one. God, with His infinite sense of humor, allowed me to find one the first place I looked.

Gee, that wine still wasn’t cold. Nonetheless, I attacked the cork and soon had it off. In no telling how many pieces, I might add. No way we’d ever be able to seal that bottle up again.

We poured a juice glass each. We sipped. Yuck! That one had been a bad choice. Down the drain it went.

Time to try the other one. My wife insisted that I taste it first. I made such a face she wasn’t willing to try it. Down the drain with that one, too.

We didn’t want the garbage collectors to see the bottles in the can. That was before everything went in opaque plastic bags. So we melted candles and crayons together and enjoyed those decorations for years to come. Don’t ask me why we didn’t worry about somebody asking where we’d gotten the wine bottles, ’cause I just don’t remember.

This true tale might have been funnier to watch than to read about, but the truth of the matter is this tale made us lose some of our strong feelings about Christians drinking. We still thought it better for Christians to set a good example–that was our permanent decision–but no longer did we look with disgust at Christians who drank in moderation .

What about you? Did you ever try something you’d always considered forbidden? Did it turn out the way you’d expected? Did it change your thoughts about something? How about sharing your tale in a comment?


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Best regards,

2 thoughts on “True Confession

  1. What a hilarious discription of events. Right out of Woody Allen…
    Can’t think of anything forbidden. I haven’t tried. And I make quick decisions. Don’t need to drink more than a few beers to know it isn’t on my Christmas wish list.
    Solomom went through a period of thoroughly gratifying his flesh. I think he did so more than any man in history. He called it all vanity. And it is.
    The important things are not the things we experiment with , try, test. Nope. We should be delighted to try most of the things in the world because they were put there for a reason. And the reason was never to tempt us or test or faith. Nope.
    Most things are useful. Whiskey has medicinal benifits. Seems now that marijuanna does too. Nothing should be rejected out of hand unless it’s some sort of violence or uncleanness. But everything else is a go, at least to me.
    Boy, oh boy… the tales I could tell…


  2. I take that Woody Allen comment as a great compliment. I’m sure you could tell some tales about things you’ve tried. While I’m not sure I agree that everything was put on earth for the use man has made of it, I agree that everything is here for a purpose. God doesn’t tempt us, agreed. Great point about Solomon.


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