Some people are sincere in making New Years resolutions, but I’m not one of them. Instead, I’ve decided to post a list of my irresolutions: things I’m determined NOT to do this year.
Ready? Here goes.
I’m determined NOT to…
- Stop making up words when a good one isn’t readily available (irresolution is a real word, but it doesn’t exactly mean the same as “negative resolution”)
- Quit eating as much chocolate as my diet and blood sugar readings make possible
- Quit being friendly not just to my fellow walkers at the mall, but to the custodians and security guards as well
- Fail to yell at the cat when he springboards off my lap and leaves new claw holes in my jeans–and sometimes in me as well
- Stop squirting water at the dog when she won’t quit barking
- Trade my car in for a motorcycle…or even just a scooter
- Start riding my bicycle to the grocery store for little items
- Stop doing the nursing home ministry just because I might become a resident there one of these years
- Stop doing the household laundry–lights on Thursday, darks on Friday, and mixing the two up however it pleases me
- Quit getting up when my wife does to show my appreciation for her continuing to go to work while I enjoy retirement
- Stop sticking out my tongue every time I see a picture of Hillary Clinton looking smug and unfriendly
- Stop laughing at Hillary Clinton every time she claims to have accomplished something other than putting up with Bill’s shenanigans
- Give up my daily Bible readings just because I’m in Ecclesiastes now
- Stop praying for God’s Holy Spirit to do a number on Mr. Obama and turn him into the person he could be (that’s a super-serious one)
- Quit eating a low-fat hot dog almost every day for lunch
- Stop supplementing my daily water intake with skim milk, juice, and a Sonic diet cherry limeade, which is also caffeine-free
- Give up on getting my collapsible walking pole to tighten properly
- Start feeling like an old man just because I’ll turn seventy this year
- Start acting like an old man just because I’ll turn seventy this year
- Quit thanking God for my weaknesses because they make me more dependent on His strength
- Stop trying to come up with better blog topics
I’m sure I could go on and on with this list, but I have to commend you if you’ve actually read the whole list.
But what about you? What are you NOT going to do this year? How about leaving a comment? Be funny or serious.
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- Check out Roger’s other blog,
- As I Come Singing
- Visit Roger’s website, RogerBruner.com
- Check out Roger’s free Christian lead sheets
- Shop for Roger’s books on Amazon
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