I got a phone call one afternoon recently that started me thinking about the “what ifs of life.”
What if my birth parents had chosen to keep me? How drastically different would my life be now?
And what if someone other than the couple who adopted me had become my adoptive parents. And what if my father had remained a lawyer rather than going to seminary and becoming a Christian minister?
What if I’d died or survived only in a vegetative state as the result of acute viral encephalitis when I was in the eighth grade?
What if I’d majored in music instead of English? Would I be a better song writer–or a less accomplished one? Would I still have become a teacher? Would I have remained in teaching rather than changing careers twice, always looking for the more-fulfilling job rather than necessarily the better paying one.
What if I’d married the first girl I thought I wanted to marry? What if I hadn’t met and married my ex-wife? What if our baby hadn’t died of an improperly developed heart three days after she was born? What if my ex- had been able to get pregnant again after microsurgery at Johns Hopkins?
And what if we’d never moved to Richmond? That question alone opens up a bottomless can of what ifs.
What if I’d never started writing songs, poems, monologues and short plays, and short stories? Would I have found equal satisfaction being creative some other way?
And what if I’d met Kathleen at a different time in our lives?
But let’s bring this up to the present time. The present is the result not of the what-ifs, but of the said-and-dones.
That doesn’t keep me from what iffing, though. What if an irritating problem hadn’t led me to the doctor recently, and what if he hadn’t decided to do some tests to determine whether I’m still reasonably healthy at going-on-sixty-nine?
And what if the PSA hadn’t been elevated enough for him to recommend going to see my urologist? What if the problem had turned out to be serious?
I’ve always said it’s better to know that something bad is going on than to have to wonder about it. But even more important is the realization–the assurance–that my life is totally in God’s hands. He can deal appropriately with all of those things I can only ponder.
What about you? Do you have any significant what-ifs going on in your life right now? Why not just turn them over to God? Please feel free to share a comment.
I’ll be back again on Sunday. If you’d like to receive my posts by email, go to “Follow Blog via Email” at the upper right.
“On Aging Gracelessly” is only one of my two blogs. I post lyrics of the Christian songs I’ve written over the last fifty years on “As I Come Singing.” Check it out HERE if you’re interested. Free lead sheets (tune, words, and chords) are available for many of them. View the list HERE.
If you enjoy my writing, you’ll find a number of things to read on my website. Also music to listen to and music-related videos to watch.
My newest novel, The Devil and Pastor Gus, is available online at Amazon and Barnes & Noble. Go HERE for links to those places.